He Said Part Four

Question: Was it a mistake because anything that even comes close to real intimacy freaked her out? Or was it that I was just not good enough?

She never called... She never texted... She’s gone... So I roll out of bed and I place my head in my hands and I notice my eyes are wet... I guess this is goodbye... I thought giving her space would allow her time to breathe and come back to me... but I think I slipped her mind, so I lay back down
And I'm thinking
What the hell just happened? How did we get here? Is she really gone? Maybe I should have fallen asleep with some flowers in my hands so in my sleep I would have been able to give those to her. I continue to fight myself. Can someone please tell me why this hurts so much?
I need to fight for her. But how? She won't pick up the phone or answer any texts and its not like we even fought about anything, ever. Is this her way of telling me its completely over?

She told me she needed time to find herself and that she needed me to be there, but now as a friend. I thought she still cared for me and I was willing to try, but now she's gone. And I am left laying here wondering why and how this happen.
I do understand there is no exact science to love or even life, but when something feels right and there is chemistry then why put up a wall and block everything out?
..
When you are dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.
-John Mayer